Today, I've been up since early Sunday afternoon and I welcomed the dawn personally.
In the past, I dreaded this occurrence because it meant I had lost the battle to sleep according to a decent person's sleep-clock. Today is different, however.
Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. I missed church, but I was fortunate enough to listen to a recorded message that I got a hold of through Kehinde Joseph, a brilliant and hardworking writer. It helped me come out of the cocoon that I spin subconsciously.
I'm writing this post while seated on the stoop of my box in Lagos. The air still carries a cool sleepiness, like a memory of the night just passed. I can hear my neighbours working their way into the routine of their Monday morning.
I realised a lot of things after hearing the message by Poju Oyemade and I feel like I've cheated myself of living once again.
My friends have been kept out by distance, when a call would have been enough to know how they are doing. My daughter is now a fortnight closer to asking who her father is and why he doesn't sleep in the house. My family are in an even more distant situation concerning me.
Being absorbed is not an excuse for not living. Unideal circumstances are not a reason not to try. What can I say?
Nothing clever or insightful, to my embarrassment. In the end, I'm the one who suffers the most.
So I will go outside today and try to stay there for as long as I can stand it.
I hate this, but I love how it tends to work in my favor.
Though one thing does keep coming up when I show photos of my daughter to random people..."Why is she so yellow?"
I have gotten tired of telling them that I work a tan on my skin and the unspoken reply is "Negroes don't tan." Exactly what I'd expect from someone with an already dark complexion.
Guess I'm going to have to deal with that.
It's good to be outside and digesting the day early. I carry too much of the night in my head already. Less nocturnal, more diurnal for now.
