Ex-Factor:it's on me

Maturity is not a bad thing. But it hurts sometimes...most of the time, really.
I'm an intimate type. From the smell of her hair to the feel of her
skin, to the lines on her lips... I remember these things. But I
cannot keep these things. It makes me the picture of pathetic.
Maturity would have saved me face on so many cases. Being raised as a
man who has well defined principles was a blessing as plain as noon on
any good day.
Today, immaturity tastes different. Certainly not better. When I'm
double-minded on issues, it costs me. To sit back into what I truly am
stands against everything they preach in the movies about determining
your own path. It all seems like a lie this evening. Right now, I am
curious about things that break me. It think the thing that breaks me
the most right now is my challenge to be more than what I was
pre-programmed to be. I don't know what that is. Why? I think I'm
missing my path. I don't think it is for a man to invent a new path,
but to find your personal trail in the path put before you.
I accept this because even pioneers can't build from what is not
there. I am a pioneer by nature, by design, by culture and nothing
else about me is true. But I am a coward as judged by my actions &
inactions in the face of challenges. I try another man's way instead
of keeping to my own.
So now I will redefine my path. I will not shy from it. I think most
likely, I will do what is best in this situation.
That is to wait on God. I'm not a perfect man, but there is a
definition of a saint that I like alot. It means no matter how many
times he falls down, he is still intent on getting off his arse so he
can keep on going.
I'm getting up. Not sure how much longer I will be upright, but I am
certain that I will get up when I fall, no matter when that will be.

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Sent from my mobile device

When you understand, add faith.

I'm going off on a different angle with this post. It is still
educative, if you have accepted that you are still learning at any
stage of your life. Every christian is aware of the statement "It is
finished." It is a curious thing to me. It is often used as a
reference in global events...well, let's just say in every other
person's life, except ours. It is difficult to see what Einstein saw
when he said, "God is in the details."
When we're told that God wants us to be healthy, successful, full of
joy, happy...let's be honest, we tie it to how we feel from moment to
moment. No one tells a toddler about gravity, but he learns to respect
it. Why don't we do the same to the word that God has spoken to us? Is
it really so difficult to believe, to add faith to what he has said?
Perhaps that is why 'it is impossible to please God without faith?'
From the itch that gets your attention at an inconvenient time, to the
beginnings of constipation, to that belch that catches you off guard,
to the fart that theatens to disillusion people next to you about your
perfection (even the queen of england farts...yeah, I said it.) these
details do not escape his notice. We accept that, but we don't accept
that he will intercede in them when we ask? It isn't the sort of thing
he bothers himself about...he is more concerned about the wildlife in
Tanzania or the melting ice caps in the north pole? When will we see
that we're not alone in EVERYTHING? It is finished means everything
that troubles your life, sending it off kilter, while you're here on
earth, all these things have been dealt with.
Stop generalising it. I know the private battles I 'think' I'm
winning. But, perhaps like me, you can't accept that you've won. That
might be the test of faith. We've been given the grace, let us now add
faith to our understanding. Let us add it NOW! Don't shake when
victory seemingly appears out of nowhere, without explanation. It is
finished, remember?

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Sent from my mobile device