pressed to the wall on the issue, one will find that the perception of
beauty is not an independent impression, but rather a meeting point of
the approval and disapproval of those we looked up to in our
developing years.
What? I mean, someone told you their opinion of beauty and you burned
it into your mental template. You are a slave to the way of thinking
of the past generation. They told you DD cup breasts were it, then
they told you assimus maximus was it and as a young boy, you had a
boner before you knew what to do with it. So, now you're dulling for a
hot-'looking' chick with the comparative personality of a wet pirhana
(all they think about is eating. If you see a picture of one, you'll
better appreciate my mental image of them).
Beauty of course is not limited to women. It also occurs in men as
well. But before I go there, I need to indict our parents' generation
for an evil that continues to perpetrate itself. They said beauty
isn't skin-deep. They put it in a song and fed that shit to us. Why do
I call it shit? Simple. BEAUTY IS NOT A THING OF THE BODY!
The clues are all around us. Ambience is one of the vehicles of that
abstract concept. Aura. Attitude.
Before I ramble you guys into disinterest, I will get back on track here.
Whatever strikes you on the inside, forces you to face things you'd
rather have remained ignorant of, challenges your natural affinity
towards settling for what is instead of who you could be, what makes
your weaknesses stand out to be addressed...it is these things that
are beautiful.
I remember once I saw something very ugly. It was a shooting. A series
of shootings. For the fact that I was still alive, life tasted more
beautiful. The ugliness of the moment hit me, but I could mourn for
the victims. Still I wouldn't want to take their place. I wouldn't
want to die for them.
I'm confronted with my cowardice and it is ugly. But it is there. And
I recognise that the time I spend wondering about nothing could be
better spent recognising where else my cowardice reveals itself. It is
humbling to realise that every time you confront your ugliness, you
have two options:condemn yourself for having it or dealing with it by
dealing with where it comes from.
Let me separate issues here. Some people are ugly to look at. I'm one
of them. My uglification stems from my inability to separate myself
from my shortcomings. If I fail to understand something immediately, I
take it as an affront. If I fail at a task, I take it personally. And
none of these reactions makes me attractive, pleasant or charming. If
anything at all, I come of as an extra-disgruntled Wolverine without
the claws and all the promise of violence.
But recognising this gives me a reason to be beautiful by means of
changing my nature for the better. The change comes over time. The
change brings rewarding results for victories and punitive results for
defeats. All in all, we are all ugly by our own hand and beautiful for
our change in handling ourselves.
I ramble. I should be kept in a zoo for wandering entities. But even
now, I'm sleepy. Thinking about ways of how I can change myself
doesn't appeal to me much right now. But it will be rewarding. Very
rewarding.
--
Sent from my mobile device
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