spent a year waiting to break.
I'm human, thus susceptible to mood swings, painful & slow
contemplation, vulnerable at inconvenient times...
I'm in need & it mocks me in my quiet still moments.
I wonder if this is a prelude to suicidal thinking. If it is, it found
the wrong Nigerian to meet up with. We hate the idea of suicide. We
accept that it happens, but we are too stubborn to let life go or
force it out of our hands because experience has taught us that the
best things are lost when they wait for us round a corner & we don't
show up. The only way to show up is show up. They don't call ahead, or
send text messages...they just wait.
I'm spending Christmas alone. Not so bad, but it doesn't bring out the
best in me. Perhaps my best writing, not the best me.
I might be immature in sensitive places, so I may need to harden up
for the new year.
Well, if you're reading this, I don't think Christmas is the best time
to wish you the best. I wish you the best every day. You & those who
love you back. I'm so grateful to be alive, sentient, & older than 5
years.
--
Sent from my mobile device
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