Sometimes...it's really not you

My back hurts like I had a womb full of 8 month old triplets for 2
weeks. Even as I write this, my back goes into short spasms without
warning. But I forced myself out of the house this evening & on a date
with a darling young lady. I found out that she's related to an old
college roommate. His sister to be exact. But you know what? That
makes it all the more lovely to me. I am aware that if I hurt her,
he'll hurt me in ways that would make my present condition feel like a
warm-up. I trust myself. I won't allow that to happen so long as it is
within my power.
She's quirky, quick, qualm-less, & quite different. Her name doesn't
start with a Q & no I didn't 'fall' in love. I choose to grow into
love & I think I can safely choose her.
This evening we were escorted out of Ozone/E-Centre (reasons of
fumigation) & I took her to my favorite bar in the area, La Village.
She seemed distracted, seemed to laugh by cue, seemed to want to be
somewhere else. I told myself that this sucks, but you know every now
& then you get this second thought that clarifies situations for you
in ways that your usual train of logic isn't designed to follow. I
decided that I wasn't the cause of her discomfort. I didn't have the
proof & Einstein did say that intuition is the most valuable thing
that we have(I think it was quoted out of context, but hey...it is a
quote).
It turns out she had curfew. Mine is 12 midnight, but it is OPC
enforced, hers was a familial sort of thing, so she had been keeping
an eye on her watch while trying to feel my thread of conversation.
I walked her home, met her very pregnant sister-in-law (who I went to
school with as well), sat for a few minutes watching that stupid
reality tv show Kendra (more like distracted myself with it.) and then
went back to the bar.

I would really like to see her again, more often, because she has
something that I aim to rediscover within myself. Age trying to catch
up with mature attitude & a wisdom that is more intuitive than
experience based.
Why does she remind of these things? Why am I blogging about her?
Sometimes...it's not about you.
I think I should be persistent in this connection with her.
It has made me...come awake.
It is too early to talk about crushes & stuff, but not to early to say
I think she's cool & easy for me to take in.
Yes. That's it.

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