Deep times

Deep Times.
I was born old, with an illusion of familiarity with most things, if
not people. From my mother's womb I dreamt into the world in all its
glory & ugliness. Or it could be said I was born without a sense of
expectation or fear. Either way, I took things as they came, but was
always curious of how things really were. My curiousity innocent, to
be sure & yet it would have dangerous consequences sometimes. Like the
time I practised what I saw in The Rise and Fall of Idi Amin. I was
fascinated with the fire element. It started with the cigarette
adverts. They looked so cool. I smoke now, but those brands have been
phased out (John Player Gold Leaf, Target etc). I hate menthols.
That's by the way. So one day, when I was 7, I saw my neighbour's
volkswagen beetle parked outside his house. It had been in a horrible
accident. I didn't think anyone would miss it. Honest! So, I tossed
lit match sticks down the petrol receptacle. They never made the
journey. They just stopped near the mouth before going out. The last
one was still burning weakly. So I leaned forward & blew it in. What
happened?
I learned the threat of petrol fumes is very real. I learned such
practices are best with adult supervision. I also learned how to set a
car on fire properly...they say you learn more from success than from
failure. They were right. Well, fire travels the path of least
resistance & I got a face full of relentless fury. I remember shutting
my eyes by reflex, then opening them & seeing something out of the
opening credits of The Legend of Zoro. Needless to say, I had a face
lift. It wasn't pretty, but God cares for us at our brightest and at
our most suicidal.
I remember my older cousin, detailed to watch me, looking defeated as
I ran into the house with a sizzling face. The smell of burning flesh
doesn't haunt me anymore, but I feel slightly disturbed near a
roasting goat.
God gave me my face back later. I lost a few things and gained
bragging rights like like 'wow'. As I've grown older, such tales are
not for bragging. It only makes me look stupid.
But I lost my impression of immortality, I lost my friend through
slander (sorry, Mawedo), I lost my cousin's trust (had to fight to get
it back). I lost love for myself. It wasn't worth the trade.
I became more adult then. Less given to public displays of silliness.
I remember these things when I see a newborn baby. My goodness! I
wouldn't take it well if any of them took up that baton from me. But I
remember this. A child is from God. He/she's in your care, but not of
your making. God takes care of them in ways you cannot tell or
emulate.
I willingly concede that I am neither the fount of wisdom nor the
heart of power. But I am a child who was born old and has working at
being young again. No lost childhood here. Just a hope to be more
useful and veer away from being stupid.
Being alot of things is childish. I accept that now. Being broke,
clueless, trite, blind...these are deep times.
I'm being called to be a man by children not my own. I've got to dig
deeper than I've dug before to bring something worthy to their table.
And I will. Gotta keep up with the times, yes?

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