untouched by something bigger than its bearer) the relevance of size
is determined by the values of those contemplating it. The space
between sub-atomic particles is relevant only to those who deal with
them daily (obviously on a professional level, like scientists whether
in the fields of atomic, nuclear, micro zoology/phytology etc). Then
there are those interested in the distances & sizes in the world of
micro-organisms (trust me, the sizes differ), the world of ants,
spiders & creatures whose worlds we disturb by simply being around
(trust me, not just terrorists, soldiers, police men or criminals,
every human being has being a natural disaster to another creature).
Let me collapse the ranges here. There's the relevance of size:of
domesticated animals, of birds, of children, of adults and the surface
of the earth, of fish the depth of the oceans, of the planets and the
sun, of our solar system and other members of the milky way...& on &
on & on. These are physical distances. There are distances of thought,
of culture, of attitudes, and literal universe of things, singly
abstract & doubly real. These distances affect our interaction with
the world & our place in it.
Walls do not a prison make. There's only so much you can do if the
distances that occupy your mind limit your potential as a person. It's
frustrating to me when I come across such people. Very often they need
someone else to reveal their true sense of distance & make them aware
of it. I have a few examples of those who discovered their natural
distances & stunned the world, then examples of those who were woken
up by others. Contrary to popular opinion, it occurs everywhere, in
every field of human involvement. The Roosevelt cousins were infirmed.
Theodore pushed his body, forced it under his submission & made it
work to make up for where it couldn't. Franklin was crippled, but
unlike Theodore, he wasn't born weak. It struck him in the prime of
his youth. He didn't let them see him sweat. He wore an overcoat to
hide his crutches. In time, he duplicated that for his country. How
else would you explain the U.S. going into world war II, still reeling
from the great depression, & taking the scalp of the Axis forces?
John Mikel Obi was a bright, promising football player. But he felt
like a fraud when he suddenly found himself playing in the first team
of Chelsea. He typically found himself focusing on the negatives &
pushing to earn the potential label of 'wonderkid'. It earned him red
cards. His then coach, Jose Mourinho, assured him that he was worth
the fight with Manchester United over his signature. It wasn't enough,
& his discipline record took a steep decline. It was when his coach
put him with the reserves that he realised 2 things: He was better
than the reserve teams & he was better than his own personal
assessment. The rest is history...history in the making.
I think a personal example would fit here. For a long time, I always
believed that I wasn't much to look at. Attention was unmerited favor.
My words would mean nothing to strangers. My thoughts would be easily
swept under the carpet. Being both sensitive & creative, I was an easy
target of verbal abuse (still am, truth be told). Then, one day, I had
enough. I decided that I would discover my true worth or die trying. I
died. So many times, I died, trying to discover this elusive quality
in myself. And it came back to me. Feeling clever with myself, I wrote
a profundity. It was just for kicks, I thought then. Time matured my
gaze. I had exposed a truth about myself. I thought I was the ant
walking on the back of a giant, but I realised I was a giant thinking
about the ant walking on my back. It has been difficult to disabuse my
mind. Imagine watching an elephant living life as if it were an ant.
That's me. As I die to that part of myself, I come to life in my true,
natural dimensions. I just need to be reminded, every now & then, of
my true size. And that my problems are measurable, not by the comments
of men, or my treacherous imagination. They are made smaller with a
slight change in personal perspective, with time & infinitesmal by
God.
I don't think God got it wrong by leading us into an awareness of our
true selves. I think we got it wrong by thinking it would make the
world happy to see us as we truly are. Now that I'm aware of this, how
do I see myself? I don't know, but I will make an adventure out of
finding out. There ARE worse ways to live, you know.
--
Sent from my mobile device
No comments:
Post a Comment